The Lesbian Sex Haiku Book (with Cats!) by Anna Pulley

Author:Anna Pulley
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781250072658
Publisher: Flatiron Books

IF THE FIFTY SHADES SERIES HAD BEEN WRITTEN BY A QUEER LADY

Fifty Shades of Spay

Protagonist finds

herself enslaved by CUTEST

tripod tabby cat.

Fifty Shades of Stay

Surprise! That “contract”

you signed was for our new time-

share in Provincetown!

Fifty Shades of Gay

A bisexual

is born and no one questions

her identity.

Fifty Shades of Old Bay

Two industrious

gals spend all night … arranging

their spice cabinet.

Fifty Shades of Essay

A lesbian tome

on all that’s wrong with the books.

In Papyrus font.

Fifty Shades of Bombay

In which a woman’s

kink is revealed to be lip-

syncing in saris.

Fifty Shades of Tanqueray

A very drunk gal

tries to seduce a fountain

for seven hours.

Fifty Shades of A.A.

Two sober gals quickly

realize they’re incompatible.

And move on.

Fifty Shades of Okay

Two women meet, and

they both respect each other’s

boundaries. The End.

Fifty Shades of Bray

A lesbian tries

to explain the timeless allure

of Fran Drescher.

Fifty Shades of Sasha Grey

Lesbian admits

she has pubic hair. Her sex

life remains fine, thanks.

Fifty Shades of Buffet

Two ladies give new

meaning to the phrase “all you

can eat.” Then they nap.

Fifty Shades of Sallie Mae

A forty-four-year-

old woman finally pays

off her student loans!

Fifty Shades of Crochet

Postbreakup, two girls

keep hosting the club that they

founded: Knit Happens.

Fifty Shades of Sick Pay

Pro bono lawyers

fall in love during a case

on workers’ comp rights.

Fifty Shades of Papier-Mâché

A woman pretends

to be impressed by her date’s

wallpaper paste art.

Fifty Shades of Hey Girl Hey

It’s just like the real

books, but with Ryan Gosling,

whom lesbians love.

Fifty Shades of Hit the Hay

Two buxom beauties

learn the importance of a

good night of REM sleep.

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